We are so exhausted, stressed and confused. Seven days into the new year with no insurance. Ten days before the day Billy is supposed to start his new job. Four weeks into unemployment. Yesterday our belongings left Somerset in a container for Nashville then on to Savannah, GA where it will be loaded onto a ship bound for New Zealand on January 17th. And still we have not been granted permanent residence!
I almost cannot contemplate our situation without having a panic attack and wondering if we truly are crazy. I am still fully believing that God has a plan and that His plan includes us moving to NZ. What I don't understand is why He is making this journey so difficult and delayed. Some days I fight feelings of being abandoned or forgotten by God. Billy and I want nothing more than to be obedient and in God's will but making daily, necessary decisions is incredibly difficult without a timeline. Do we purchase Cobra insurance? Should Billy be looking for another job? Should we stop the container from leaving the country on a ship?
I also wonder how this affects any nonbelievers that are observing our plight. Being obedient doesn't look so appealing when it gets this difficult. I don't even know how to defend our decision to remain faithful. We just really don't feel like there is any option but to continue to follow the Son.
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