laying it out and it's not so pretty

I think finding a new church is like starting to date after breaking up with the one you thought was "the one". You still grieve for "the one" and compare every one to "the one", but none will measure up. Can you really develop a relationship with the rebound? You're hurting and sad and not really willing to open yourself up again. And everything is so different, so unfamiliar. The rebound looks different and sounds different and doesn't really feel like it fits. Nothing the rebound does is the way "the one" did it. So what then??
This has really been a crumby week. I don't know why now after 8 months. EIGHT MONTHS! Guess I thought I'd have more than one friend by now. She's a GREAT friend!!! But it's not even fair to her that she's my only friend. Sure, I know several people. Occasionally I'll have coffee or even lunch with someone. And now and then I'll even run into someone I know.
We went to our cellular company, Vodaphone, today to see about getting me an iPhone. Not so I can talk to people here but to keep in better touch with Kaigan and friends and family in the States. I didn't get one. They're $1100!! The guy at Vodaphone even talked me into dropping to a smaller (thankfully cheaper) plan because I'm not nearly using all the minutes I've been paying for per month. We have free calls within our family plan so calls to Billy, Mik and Bry don't use any. Sadly the smallest plan has 100 minutes. Too bad they don't rollover.
Nani and Graham had a program tonight for school. It was a very sad and lonely feeling to walk into a gym full of parents and not recognize anyone! Billy was with me but I searched desperately for my one friend. I sat in the bleachers waiting for the program to begin and, as I scanned the hundreds of unfamiliar faces, I became so homesick for Science Hill and Pulaski County.
I'm really angry right now. Yes, I'll say it. I'm angry at God. Didn't He ask us to do this? Isn't this where He wants us to be? Weren't we obedient despite the risk and ridicule? Didn't we give up everything that was important to us except for Him and each other?
We finally watched our House Hunters International episode today. (Mom sent us a copy.) It was so painful to see our farm, The Viner Farm, the barn I had longed for that Billy finally had built for me just a year and a half before we moved, and my horses. I weep still. I grieve still. I'm so bitter, still.
Billy and the kids are all doing great! And I know there are things that are better for us here but I don't want to talk about that right not. Right now I just want to stamp my feet and beat my pillow and cry for a while...

South Island- day 7 and 8

Today we packed up and headed back north. We drove through some beautiful countryside but the weather was less than desirable. We drove to Lake Pukaki with hopes of seeing Mount Cook, New Zealand's highest mountain, but the clouds prohibited that. So disappointing. We drove on and saw the beautiful stone Church of the Good Shepherd on the Lake Tekapo. On we drove, through freshly snow-powdered mountains, past fields and fields of sheep, over several single-lane bridges until we arrived at Hanmer Springs where there are natural hot springs. We stayed at Heritage Hotel in a great chalet. We quickly unpacked the truck, changed into togs and walked down to the hot springs. It was spitting rain and was a little chilly but the pools were nice. They ranged in temperatures and even had some water slides the kids enjoyed. After sufficiently pruned, we went back to the house, settled the kids with some take away fish and chips and a movie and Billy and I went for a nice dinner alone. I thought the lambs fry served with bacon and mashed potatoes looked good so that's what I ordered. Unfortunately, the waitress had only been in New Zealand for one month from Estonia and didn't know exactly what lambs fry actually is. Uhhh, well,  it's sheep liver! One bit and I was done!
In the morning, on the way to Kaikoura, we came across a herd of alpacas. The alpaca farmer and his wife were there and waved us over so we stopped for photos and a brief education on the animal. The girls LOVED them! They were so cute.
We arrived in Kaikoura for our second attempt to whale watch but sadly, it was quite windy and overcast and there was a "strong sea sick warning" so we opted out. Now that we weren't going to be at sea for several hours, Billy decided we'd catch the ferry back to the North Island that afternoon. We drove to Picton and the kids played at a park until it was time to load the ferry. Three hours on the ferry then 5 hours from Wellington to New Plymouth for a 3am homecoming and sleep in our own beds.
Now we count down to our next big event. My Momma's coming next month!!!!!

South Island- Day 6

Thursday I drove Billy into Queenstown to his conference so that the kids and I could meet him when he was finished.  Thankfully, no one else got Graham's stomach bug!! The kids and I got ready and first stopped to see the Kingston Flier. He was behind a gated fence so Graham and Nani stood at the gate for a photo. the coaches were out and accessible so we were able to get a couple of shots there. We then drove out the 35 minute drive to Queenstown to meet Billy, stopping for photos of the beautiful scenery now and then. We arrived a little bit early so I took the kids to a park on the lakefront until it was time to meet Billy. I quite like Queenstown and hope to go back, maybe on a romantic ski getaway!
We collected Billy and headed to the birthplace of bungee jumping. We watched several brave, or perhaps insane, souls plunge headfirst into the icy river below. The kids (except for Will who was now feeling bad but never really got sick) did the trampoline, harnessed so that they could do flips and BIG jumps. We were shocked that Graham wanted to do this! He couldn't do a flip on his own but the people working there launched him high into the air and helped him do a flip or two. Brylie took a while to get here first flip but once she did she was nonstop! Mikaylie, too, was a flipper but poor Nani struggled. She was determined to do it though and tried and tried. She'd get upside down but was unable to go all the way around. Finally at the very last second, she did it!!! It was somewhat of a face-plant though because it was when the guy was lowering her down from the bungees and she really wasn't supposed to be flipping anymore. I think her satisfaction of her accomplishment kept her from being bothered by her uncomfortable landing.
Mikaylie was torn with indecision about doing a real bungee jump. She stood watching the others, clearly debating in her head. A couple of guys who we had just seen jump were trying to talk her into it but she just couldn't get up her nerve. I think ultimately she just didn't wanna get up there, all strapped in and then not go through with it. Of course for the rest of the day, she regretted NOT doing it!
We went back downtown for a little shopping and dinner again at the Fat Badger. When we got back to the bach, we had a fire on the beach.
Fun fun day!!

South Island: Days Four and Five

Yesterday we got to sleep in, took our time getting ready for the day then headed from Kingston, where we are staying, to Queenstown. The kids wanted to luge so that’s what we did. We took the gondola up the mountain, then the ski lift to the luge launching area. What fun!!! Graham and Nani road down with us the first couple of times then Nani was ready to go it alone. Graham preferred riding with someone else because it took some strength to pull back on the handle bar to brake. The views over the lake and Queenstown from the lift were awesome!!! After our last trip down the luge track we purchased some of the photos that are shot as you ride up the lift and down the luge. As we walked up to gather together for our walk to the truck, I heard a familiar accent and began chatting with a couple (Ralph and Lynn) from Ohio who were there with their 4 kids. They had come to NZ to scout it out as Ralph has a job offer in Timaru, the town where we stayed at the Longview B&B.  I called Billy over and we were able to share our experiences and insight with them. I gave them our contact info, including our blog, so that they could keep in touch and have a resource here. I’m anxious to hear what they decide. I pray for them clear guidance in their decision and smooth transitions to wherever they should chose to go.  Funny thing is, we unknowingly lived closer to them when we lived in KY than we would if they were to move to Timaru.

Billy took the four younger kids and went to the grocery store before returning to our bach (pronounced “batch” and means a holiday house). Mikaylie and I went shopping in Queenstown!!! We caught all the ski wear sales since ski season is over here so we picked up some ski pants and other gear we’ll be using in winters to come. We had a wonderful dinner of seafood chowder and salads then walked around the pier area at Queenstown Bay before having divine desserts of crème brulee and berry cheesecake! Finally we went back to the Fat Badger for a short wifi time before they closed and Billy came for us. Fun night for Mik and me!!!

Today Billy’s conference started so the kids and I had a lazy day at the bach.  Kingston is situated at the end of Lake Wakatipu and its main claim to fame is the Kingston Flyer, a restored vintage steam train with several coaches. Sadly for Graham, the train lover of the family, the train rides don’t start until November. The train is, however, parked a short walk away so hopefully we can stroll over there tomorrow. Two things kept us away today: 1) Graham seems to have a stomach bug and has spent the day puny and in the toilet and 2) a nice rainstorm kept us indoors this afternoon and brought in some chilly weather.  I say a nice rainstorm because the bach’s water supply is solely rainwater! When we arrived at the bach we all had a good laugh at the sticker on the shower reading, “Conserve tank water: max 3 minute shower”.  So the rain was a good thing. Even 3 minute showers for a family of 7 uses significant water, not to mention the laundry we’re washing.

 I did get my run in but I’m thinking the altitude must be having an effect on me because I struggled to breathe this morning. I had to walk off and on. I returned from my run to find Brylie, Will and Nani at the park. We walked to the lake’s edge and played on the rocky shore. The rocks are different than any rocks I’ve ever seen; so pretty, with layers and striations. Mom would be in heaven!

The rest of the day was spent lazing around the bach, watching the telly and waiting for Billy to return with dinner. Tomorrow, provided the bug doesn’t migrate to another poor soul, we’ll do something more exciting…

South Island: Day Three...

Today we rose to a delicious breakfast made by Anita. I got my run in but instead of sea views, I had sheep views. Rolling hills of sheep, backed by mountain ranges.  We headed out and down the east coast of the South Island to Oamaru to view the nesting grounds of blue penguins. We were not allowed to photograph them because they were in their dark nesting burrow and the flash would disturb them. I did get shots of their boxed nests. I found it interesting that the penguins would choose to return year after year with the traffic of all the visitors that come to see them.

We hit the road again to go down to Moeraki to see the Moeraki boulders which are famous for being naturally round. Billy was determined to see them and we went about 45 minutes out of our way to get to them. We parked and walked out onto the beach and as soon as we passed through the shrubs and dunes, the wind whipped so fiercely, we struggled to walk.  Okay, so where are the rocks? About 400meters down the beach. So we hiked and laughed and when we saw that there was parking just above where the boulders were, we voted that Billy would go back for the truck to pick us up! We took pictures with the boulders and picked up some neat shells then headed to the carpark (parking lot)while Billy hiked the beach to the truck. I prepared sandwiches in the boot (trunk) of the truck, so we ate and set off again, bound for Queenstown.

So this day was the day that, in the States, our House Hunters International episode was to finally air. We had hoped that we’d be able to skype Kaigan to watch it that way, as HGTV does not air here. But now we were crossing through the very rural and sparsely populated South Island, which makes eastern Kentucky look like a sprawling metropolis. At show time, we made several attempts to connect with Kaigan but weren’t able to hold a connection for more than a few minutes at a time. When we did have a connection, we could really only hear some of the program and see frozen frames now and then. It’s quite comical when you think about it. Quite remarkable too, really. Here we are, around the other side of the planet, trying , with marginal success, to video call our son in the States! Pulled over on the side of the road, surrounded by the vast expanse of hills and mountains, virtually in the middle of nowhere, we can see real time video of Kaigan in his dorm in Florida! All things considered, NZ has pretty good 3G coverage.

So watching the show was basically a bust but we got to share in some of the excitement via Facebook on Billy’s iPhone.

We reached Queenstown and the Fat Badger for pizza then our next resting place, the bach we'll stay i for the next four night. Quaint little abode facing the lake. We got a chuckle out of the sticker on the shower that read, "conserve water: 3 min shower"! Yeah right!!!

South Island: Day Two...

Today was absolutely gorgeous!!!! The sun was shining. The skies, clear and blue. Very little wind and warm (about 58 degrees). We went to where the Whale Watching tour meets and played on the pebbly beach while we waited to hear if the tour was a go. A helicopter flies out to scout for whales before the boat departs. The views there were amazing. The snow covered mountains of the Kaikoura Range on one side and the crystal blue waters of the South Pacific Ocean on the other. Unfortunately the whale tour was canceled due to the whales being too far offshore. This was particularly disappointing because the weather and seas were perfect and after the rather rough trip on the ferry yesterday, I was a bit apprehensive about going out to sea again. No biggie though, for there were seals to see.
We drove back north, past where we had driven yesterday and saw several seals in the craigy rocks. There was a pool of water in which several seals were splashing and playing and many others were sleeping in the sun. We had been told of a pathway that leads to a waterfall, at the bottom of which is a pool where seal pups gather to play. This was probably the most spectacular thing I have ever seen... ever!!! There must have been at least 20-30 seal pups flipping, diving, play fighting and showing off for the visitors. It was just amazing, especially given the fact that this was not a zoo or an aquarium. This was the wild! Words cannot accurately describe and photos don't do it justice. On the walk back, Mikaylie and I watched a cheeky little pup playing alone in the river then we joined Nani to watch another two playing further down. Near these two, we were able to walk to the edge of the river to take close-ups. These mischievous little seals would pop up through the water and slide up onto the rock on which Mikaylie was standing, scaring her backwards. They were such a tease and you often felt they must be posing.
We dragged ourselves away from the babies only because we knew we were going to eat crayfish, which are spiny lobsters (sadly, they are clawless). We ate at a roadside caravan on the beach. One word... YUM!
Next we began a 3 hour drive to our next farmstay (dare we try again?) The drive was beautiful, a bit twisty, but beautiful! Seaviews, mountains and sheep... lots and lots of sheep!!! We stopped for sandwich fixings before going to the B&B where we are staying the night. We arrived at Longview Farmstay where we were welcomed by Anita and Alan Blakemore and their very cute and tolerant cocker spaniel, Becky. Their home is absolutely beautiful and they views are breathtaking! We sampled olive oil from their olive groves and watched the All Blacks v. Argentina rugby quarter final RWC game. Do visit their website: www.longviewfarmstay.co.nz and visit them in person if you're ever on the South Island. Huge thanks to Anita and Alan for their warm hospitality and cozy accommodations!!!
Grabbing some sleep before another day of driving to our bach in Queenstown.

South Island: Day One...

What a day! We left this morning at about 7:30am, headed for Wellington to catch the InterIsland Ferry for our first visit to the South Island.  The truck was packed with the seven of us, with our luggage on the roof rack, Nintendo’s and cameras charged. Despite the close quarters, the kids were remarkably great. The weather wasn’t the best, patchy rain and lots of wind but we made it to the ferry with time to spare, which meant sitting in the parked truck in line, waiting to load onto the ship. Nani and I had to use the facilities (which is simply called “the toilet” in NZ) so we got out and began the 100m walk to the bathrooms. About 4 steps away from our vehicle the spitting rain began to pour and the wind blowing it sideways, drenched my left side. Brrrrr!!!! At least the rain subsided a little for our return walk. We then rocked the truck, singing to Billy’s iTunes until we parked inside the ferry.

Inside the ship was kinda like a cruise ship, with lounges, a café, a bar and even a movie theater. The wind and waves made the ride Cooks Straight pretty rough! Thankfully we all took anti nausea medicine. The 4 younger kids watched Kungfu Panda 2 while Billy and I napped and Mikaylie read.  Milford Sound was supposed to be beautiful, and it was but the nasty weather put a damper on the photo ops.

We exited the ferry after a 3 hour ride and began our drive to our first night’s stop in Kaikoura where we were had reservations to stay in a cottage on a farm.

The drive down was gorgeous and the clouds began to break. Rolling hills of golf course looking grass, dotted with fluffy sheep. Acres and acres and ACRES of vineyards, with wineries here and there. Snow covered mountains. THEN we reached the east coast.  White waves crashing. Beautiful rock formations. And seals!!! Lots and lots of seals! Mikaylie and I were having fits because of all the photogenic scenes we were driving right by but the sun was quickly going down, we were pretty hungry and we had to find the farm stay. We did stop a couple of times and shot a few out of the window of the moving vehicle but we’re both eager to get more photos tomorrow.

We found the road leading to the farm where we’d stay but headed past to grab a quick bite to eat. We stopped at a little restaurant where we ate burgers and chips (fries) then popped next door to a dairy for ice cream. Now, though dark, we found the farm with no problems. However, there was problem. The gate was closed and adorned with a sign that read “CLOSED No admittance after 5pm”!!! Billy had spoken with the people when making arrangements and though they said they would be away, their staff would be there to receive us. No one came to the gate. Billy shouted “Hello!” Nothing. He was furious, to put it mildly, compounded by the fact that I was adamant he not enter the gate that was so clearly mark not to do so. “Security Systems”, “No Admittance”, etc. He then proceeded to honk the horn to no avail. Words were shouted, tears were shed, calls were made… nothing! The kids and I were NOT entering the forbidden gate. They were, in fact, given the choice: go in gate with Dad or wait with Mom at dairy while Dad goes in gate. There was an emphatic and unanimous “stay with Mom!” “But I already paid for it!” he kept saying. Seething, Billy drove us all back to town where we stopped at the first motel, which thankfully had a “VACANCY” sign lit and checked us in. Two rooms of course to accommodate us; Billy and the 2 boys in one and me and the girls in the other. The girls later told me the farm was scary and they were glad we weren’t staying there.

So here I am, lying in bed at this motel (oddly enough, a Comfort Inn!), recounting and recording the events, not quite yet ready to laugh about it. I’m thinking about how this is different and scarier than in the States for several reasons: First, NZ is NOT like the States in that there is not a Holiday Inn, Days Inn, La Quinta, Hilton or Hampton on every corner of most towns. Here there are B&Bs, baches or maybe a lodge with a few motels thrown in here and there.  Not many places that you can just drive up late at night and find an open office, much less a ready room. Second, today started the kids’ 2 week term break. Not just our kids or our town’s schools’ break. The ENTIRE country’s schools are out!!! This means potentially, everyone is traveling on holiday today! PLUS, the RWC is still going on which has brought lots of additional tourists. Most places are booked solid!!! Finally, when I’m fighting with my husband and I have only one real friend here and I just wanna go home, home still doesn’t feel here. I honestly don’t know WHERE feels like home but it’s not here… not yet.

Anyway… as they say “no worries”. There’ll be no homicide or even divorce. Tomorrow is supposed to be beautiful and we’re scheduled on a whale tour and we’ll take tons of pics and maybe even laugh about tonight, provided Billy hears from the farm people and they say we get our money back!