At the request of the medical assessor, Billy has arranged for Graham to be evaluated by a developmental pediatrician, a physician we never knew existed. Amazingly, the appointment is Monday! We've been told that upon receipt of the requested paperwork it will still be another 2-3 weeks before we hear another update. With the contract on our new house expiring November 1st in NZ (which is Sunday here) we've had to request a 3 week extension. Three more weeks of limbo!!!
Stressed out is such and understatement. I think we've both reached the state of delirium. I don't know how Billy is even functioning. His mom is in the hospital and, if discharged, will be in hospice care. She is dying of Parkinson's and has deteriorated so quickly, unable to talk, walk or even eat. Bless her, she can only move her eyes. For mercy's sake, we pray God takes her soon.
Billy and I both still have an overwhelming sense that we are still going to NZ. Neither of us can figure out exactly HOW but, somehow, we KNOW we're going. And when I can step out of the chaos and take a deep breath, I feel an excitement in the anticipation of seeing God work it all out.
This morning I felt God placed a message on a church message sign just for us. It read, "In trying times, don't quite trying."
30 October 2010
28 October 2010
Time to consider Plan B?
Billy received three emails yesterday from INZ (Immigration New Zealand) asking for 6 additional documents, 3 of which they already have! We are at a loss as to how to read this. Are they giving us the runaround? Did they lose paperwork? Is it God's will that we don't go to NZ? Is Satan trying to discourage us?
I find myself so incredibly frustrated at truly trying to obey God, sacrificing so much and putting forth so much effort and yet feeling so uncertain as to what His will really is now. Are we supposed to fight harder or change directions? Do I pack to move within the country or wait for movers to pack us to move overseas? This has truly taken "living one day at a time" to a new level!!
I don't even know what I want. I feel like I've been asking God, "What do You want me to want?" And if He asked me, "What do you want?" I have no idea!
I find myself so incredibly frustrated at truly trying to obey God, sacrificing so much and putting forth so much effort and yet feeling so uncertain as to what His will really is now. Are we supposed to fight harder or change directions? Do I pack to move within the country or wait for movers to pack us to move overseas? This has truly taken "living one day at a time" to a new level!!
I don't even know what I want. I feel like I've been asking God, "What do You want me to want?" And if He asked me, "What do you want?" I have no idea!
23 October 2010
...and waiting...
Yep, still waiting for word from immigration. We've had to send some additional paperwork that was requested by New Zealand and have one more (hopefully the last) to send. Our contact person, Jason, hopes to have some news by the end of the month. This would be extremely helpful for several reasons, not the least of which is WE JUST WANNA KNOW!!!
November 1st is the date in our contract on our home in NZ by which we have to proceed with the purchase of the house or let it go. Immigration is the only condition left unfulfilled. We may have to request an extension, however, if the sellers have any other interested parties, they may which to deny that request.
We also would REALLY like to have our belongings shipped. It will take 8-12 weeks for our things to get to NZ and we'd really prefer NOT to sleep on the floor for more than a couple of days.
We also need to book our flights as well as get Pete's transport, quarantine, etc. arranged.
We KNOW that God has a plan and it is perfect. Billy and I both believe in our hearts that it is God's will for us to move to New Zealand. He has already worked out so may details that would not be necessary if we were to stay stateside. Whether these delays are to refine our faith, teach us patience or for reasons we have yet to discover, I am finding peace in the fact that, while we have no control, God does!
November 1st is the date in our contract on our home in NZ by which we have to proceed with the purchase of the house or let it go. Immigration is the only condition left unfulfilled. We may have to request an extension, however, if the sellers have any other interested parties, they may which to deny that request.
We also would REALLY like to have our belongings shipped. It will take 8-12 weeks for our things to get to NZ and we'd really prefer NOT to sleep on the floor for more than a couple of days.
We also need to book our flights as well as get Pete's transport, quarantine, etc. arranged.
We KNOW that God has a plan and it is perfect. Billy and I both believe in our hearts that it is God's will for us to move to New Zealand. He has already worked out so may details that would not be necessary if we were to stay stateside. Whether these delays are to refine our faith, teach us patience or for reasons we have yet to discover, I am finding peace in the fact that, while we have no control, God does!
17 October 2010
Dancing in the Rain
After four days of crying, two days of rage and a day of emotional exhaustion and just plain numb, I got up today and ENJOYED MY FARM. Brylie, Nani and I groomed the horses and rode all over our beautiful farm. Such a gorgeous day! Thank you Lord!!
Things are starting again to fall into place and new peace is upon me.
The couple that bought our house have managed to purchase the barn with 8 additional acres from the guy who bought the land. Yesterday I had the blessing of chatting with the mother of the wife of the couple and she told me how excited they are about the house and farm. Their little son, she went on, cried because he wanted to live here. And not only are his grandparents buying the minis for him, his family want Hattie and any cats that we wish to leave on the farm.
This leaves only my precious Bella and Soochie. I have spoken to a few people who may be interested in them, any of whom would take terrific care of them. Today, however, my dear friend in New Mexico called and told me that she, her husband and his dad are interested in possibly taking my horses. While I know they would be well cared for by any of the others, I'm am thrilled to pieces at the thought of them being with "family".
We're still in limbo with immigration. Monday Billy and I will be sending what we hope will be the final bits of information for which they are asking. We pray that once they receive it they will be able to render a decision regarding our request for residence. So much awaits this news. We have only until November 1st to satisfy the conditions of the contract on our house in NZ, immigration being the only condition left to complete. With each passing week the likelihood of our belongings reaching NZ shortly after we do lessens. And we'd ideally like to pack and ship directly to NZ from the farm and not have to move twice. Finally, we'd really like to purchase our plane tickets. If we have to push our departure back, my Mom will likely not be able to come with us, as she is a teacher and will have to be back in class around January 5th. But I realize that God's timing is perfect and if these things don't work out the way WE are hoping, it's because God has it all worked out differently than we do.
I know that I have A LOT more tears to shed over the next several weeks. This storm is far from over. I have decided, however, that I'd much rather dance in the rain.
Things are starting again to fall into place and new peace is upon me.
The couple that bought our house have managed to purchase the barn with 8 additional acres from the guy who bought the land. Yesterday I had the blessing of chatting with the mother of the wife of the couple and she told me how excited they are about the house and farm. Their little son, she went on, cried because he wanted to live here. And not only are his grandparents buying the minis for him, his family want Hattie and any cats that we wish to leave on the farm.
This leaves only my precious Bella and Soochie. I have spoken to a few people who may be interested in them, any of whom would take terrific care of them. Today, however, my dear friend in New Mexico called and told me that she, her husband and his dad are interested in possibly taking my horses. While I know they would be well cared for by any of the others, I'm am thrilled to pieces at the thought of them being with "family".
We're still in limbo with immigration. Monday Billy and I will be sending what we hope will be the final bits of information for which they are asking. We pray that once they receive it they will be able to render a decision regarding our request for residence. So much awaits this news. We have only until November 1st to satisfy the conditions of the contract on our house in NZ, immigration being the only condition left to complete. With each passing week the likelihood of our belongings reaching NZ shortly after we do lessens. And we'd ideally like to pack and ship directly to NZ from the farm and not have to move twice. Finally, we'd really like to purchase our plane tickets. If we have to push our departure back, my Mom will likely not be able to come with us, as she is a teacher and will have to be back in class around January 5th. But I realize that God's timing is perfect and if these things don't work out the way WE are hoping, it's because God has it all worked out differently than we do.
I know that I have A LOT more tears to shed over the next several weeks. This storm is far from over. I have decided, however, that I'd much rather dance in the rain.
13 October 2010
Dark Days
Our beloved farm was auctioned on Saturday. The land sold, tragically to Satan incarnate and the house to a quite lovely couple who will loathe the day they bought this house when they find it set in the bovine sewer that it will surely become. And for what?? We scarcely covered our mortgage, commission and fees. The garage sale we held a couple of weeks ago brought more money than we will make on the sale of our entire farm, equipment included. I've wept for four days.
I'm truly not being materialistic, for it's not the money or actual land or house for which I grieve. I would be sad but peaceful if someone was going to love and nurture this place as we have over the past eight years. Billy and I have poured our blood, sweat and tears into this homestead and never have I felt more peace and happiness than the years we've spent here. I fully expected to be buried next to our dear dog Macy under the tree in the back field.
I am trying to be strong and know that God is still in control but I can't help but feel abandoned and even punished for our attempts to obey. I feel so heavy, as if cloaked by the lead vest they put on one having an xray. I wish I could shake it off.
Mikaylie slept with me last night, as Billy was on call. She broke my heart when she, crying, said, "I want my Momma back".
I'm trying , Baby.
02 October 2010
Getting Excited About Our New House
Thought I'd post the link of our new home in New Plymouth, New Zealand.
http://www.nz.open2view.com/Property/225826
I've probably looked at these pictures a thousand times. Arranging funiture, decorating, choosing colors and just day dreaming. Can't wait!!!!
http://www.nz.open2view.com/Property/225826
I've probably looked at these pictures a thousand times. Arranging funiture, decorating, choosing colors and just day dreaming. Can't wait!!!!
01 October 2010
Waiting...
Oh the waiting. THE WAITING!!!! We're in a holding pattern. Can't ship our things. Can't purchase airline tickets. I'm not exactly the patient type so this is excruciating!!! I am really trying to just give it to God. I pray but I don't know what to pray for. So I just keep saying, "Your will be done. Your will be done." Anything else is praying for MY will. Ultimately I know God's timing is perfect.
I'm going through the house and packing what I can... mostly summer clothes, extra bedding, etc. Can't pack breakables due to insurance. I'm still finding loads, literally LOADS of things to get rid of. I'm thinking of having another yardsale at the rental house. At least I'm busy, I guess...
I'm going through the house and packing what I can... mostly summer clothes, extra bedding, etc. Can't pack breakables due to insurance. I'm still finding loads, literally LOADS of things to get rid of. I'm thinking of having another yardsale at the rental house. At least I'm busy, I guess...
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