Spring in NZ

Guess I've gotten really bad about posting and I've had some update requests. This is for you, Aunt Judy!

So it's been nearly 5 weeks since I left Kaigan in Daytona Beach. I've recounted on the calendar 3 times because it doesn't seem possible that it's been that long! He is loving it and must be very busy since we rarely hear from him. (Hint hint, Kai!) One of our infrequent message conversations went as follows: Kaigan: I think I have a fever.
Me: Did you take anything.
Kai: I took Tylenol 2 hours ago.
Me: Do you have any other symptoms?
Then no response for 2 days!
The first weeks after my return were VERY DIFFICULT! I cried daily and it took quite some time before I could go into Kaigan's room without crying. I wonder if it's like this for all mom's sending their firstborn off to school or if it's the distance. When I got off the plane in New Plymouth Mikaylie and I hugged and cried and I begged her not to go so far away from me for school. Of course I don't really mean it... okay, maybe a little. But I came back with a very strong determination to be positive and make NZ home. I have NEVER seen Billy happier than he's been since we got here. He LOVES his job and he's home soooo much, and during the day while the kids are at school, so we get more time together. There is no way I wanna go back to the occasional husband and father we had before. The kids too, are doing fantastic and flourishing.
Since the bookstore job was put off until December, Billy's been urging me, STRONGLY urging me to apply for other jobs. I applied for 2 different positions, getting declined for one and the other, I've heard nothing back yet. Honestly, I didn't really feel strongly drawn to either so I'm not terribly heartbroken. I check listings regularly and maybe something perfect will come along.
I have started running!!! It's strangest thing because I've never been able to really run before and since the kids and Billy all make fun of the way I run, I really kind of avoided it. But something was making me just wanna run! I'd see people running and I would want to too. So one Wednesday I took Charlie and took off running. I ran about 3k along the Coastal Walkway without stopping. I was shocked I could even do it! Then we walked farther down a footpath along a river, down which I'd never been before turning back for home. I guess we went a total of about 8-10k that day. I was so excited I kept telling Billy, "I was like Forrest Gump!" Today was my 5th run and I ran farther than ever, close to 4k then walked back. On the way home I stopped in the city to purchase some better running shoes. I quite love it! Something about running along the ocean's coast, listening to tunes is so invigorating! Billy is ready to sign me up for a marathon! Hmmmm, we'll see about that.
Turns out, we moved in a terrific year. New Zealand is hosting the Rugby World Cup this year and we were able to attend 2 USA games here in our town. The RWC is played only every 4 years and was last held in NZ 15 years ago. The stadium in only about 4 blocks away so we walked to the games and had a blast! Mikaylie and her friends "painted up" so we joined in the team spirit as well. I LOVE RUGBY!!!! Okay, so the guys are tank and many are very cute and they wear shorts, not all padded up like in football. Those guys are as tough as they come, and while I've always been a gridiron football fan, they make NFL players look like sissies! If a player is injured the trainers come out onto the field and tend to them with play continuing around them. If they come off the field due to injury (unless there is blood), they may not return.  Once a player is substituted, they are finished for the game. The first game we attended, the US was defeated by Ireland but the second, USA beat Russia. That night Billy and I went out to a club after the game and celebrated with visiting Americans, which was pretty cool. I really had fun saying, "Oh, we live here."
The weather has turned absolutely gorgeous!!! It's spring now and the days are longer and warmer. Evenings are still quite cool but the only rain we've had lately has been at night. We'll go to bed with starry, cloudless skies, hear pouring rain during the night then wake to another beautiful, sunny day. I'm still looking forward to a little more warmth so that we can enjoy the beach.
The kids have their two week term break after one more week of school and then we will all head down to the South Island. We'll be gone for a week, driving down to see as much of the country as we can along the way. I'll be posting about what we see and learn about our new country soon.

Leaving my heart in Daytona Beach

It was truly the hardest thing I've ever had to do... ever! Hugging Kaigan goodbye, curbside at the Orlando International Airport about ripped my heart out. I fought off waves of nausea and cried through security, wondering if it made me look suspicious.  I left my heart in Daytona Beach.

There were many people I wanted to chat with before I left the country. I had over 300 minutes left on my prepaid and had intended to use them all with last minute calls to friends and family I was again leaving. I could not, however, bring myself to talk to anyone.  I called Billy and sobbed through that conversation and pulled myself together enough to call Gram. I fought with all my might not to get upset with her on the phone but she was not fooled. During my layover in Dallas I called a couple of friends, reaching only one. I was really better off not attempting to speak to anyone. For some reason opening my mouth also opened the floodgates of tears. I also called Kaigan one last time before leaving the country. My sweet boy!

On to LA, where it was now too late to call anyone but Billy in NZ.  I boarded my 3rd of four flights and began to weep uncontrollably as the plane lifted off and flew further from the US and my son. What kind of mother leaves her child alone on another continent? Sorrow, guilt, agony and fear consumed me.  "Why, yes, I'd love a cocktail."

Kaigan is fantastic!!! He loves his school and, though nervous, is thrilled to begin his college career. His roommate is one of his oldest friends, with whom he's been in school with since first grade. They share a bathroom with two other boys in the adjoining suite. Kaigan and I really had fun that last week in Florida. Before school stuff started, we went to Universal Studios and shopped the Apple Store where he helped me buy a Mac. He's so proud of me! LOL! We organized his room, shopped for last minute dorm room items and purchased textbooks. There were some very informative seminars for parents and by the end of the week, I knew Kaigan was at the perfect school for him. On the Tuesday night was a banquet for the Honors Program students where they received an iPad 2. Kaigan was beaming with joy with his new toy! I've never seen him smile so much. And we are so very proud of him! Kaigan is one of the 7% of the 1250 incoming freshmen that were selected to be in the Honors Program. All of these students are housed together on a floor specifically for them. He'll be surrounded, supported and challenged by fellow students who are bright, ambitious and driven. 

By Wednesday, I think he was ready for me to leave. The students had more and more activities and I could feel him pulling away. Then God sent me an angel! In the lobby of Kaigan's dorm, I met the mother of another student who was hurting like me. She too, was there without her husband and was staying at the same hotel as I was. We planned to meet Wednesday night for drinks at the hotel. I felt like I had know Julie for ages. We have a lot in common, particularly both being Christians and the shared heartache of leaving our firstborns at school. Thursday I rode into campus with her, sparing Kaigan the trip to retrieve me in the morning, and together we attended several seminars for parents. Thursday afternoon the sun was shining so I bummed a ride back to the hotel (Julie had some things to do with her son) and hit the beach. With the hurricane some distance out off the coast, the winds and waves were insane, and though I was getting sandblasted, I was determined to be on the beach. Friday I spent at the pool, by then the winds were just too much to bare. Julie met me there and together we grieved over leaving our boys.

Then Saturday... the worst day of my life...

Of course I survived. I'm still struggling, crying every other day or so and if I go into Kaigan's room, forget it, it's all over and I'm useless. But Kai is SO HAPPY. He is having a blast and studying what he's dreamed about for ages. I text him via Facebook and Skype or phone. He's gotten a campus job as an assistant to a professor and has his "own desk!" 

So I'm counting down til he comes home for Christmas and already dread his leaving then. For now, I've got the distraction of Rugby World Cup and have applied for a couple of jobs. Bookstore may still happen but she's put me off til December and Billy's tired of me moping around the house. So I'll get a job and start a farm fund for land and my horse-to-be.