Another very difficult day

With the closing on the farm growing nearer, I took today to move my 2 trail horses. I brought them to my dear friend and trainer, Nancy's to board them until we either: a) receive approval from NZ in which case I still need to find them a home or b) get rejected by NZ, find a job stateside and move them with us. The tears started as I hooked up the horse trailer and really got going when, after Soochie loaded with no problem, Bella just did not want to get in the trailer. Bella never gives me problems loading but this morning she planted her feet and was just not going to get in. I felt like she knew what was going on and was going to fight it right along with me. After a while, she finally got in the trailer and we were on our way. I cried a good part of the rest of the day. Looking at the field without my horses in it breaks my heart. Both have lived here their whole lives and Soochie has actually lived here longer than us, as I bought him before we even moved onto the farm.
As if I wasn't already emotionally drained, Billy needed me to bring Graham to a lab to have a genetics test done. It seems that the developmental pediatrician thought that, given the fact that he has both the heart defect and a speech disorder, he should be tested for 22q11, a genetic anomaly.  Since he put this in his report to NZ, we knew they would demand it be done so our poor, sweet Graham had to have his blood drawn. He's so funny! He fussed at the tech saying, "He made a hole in my body!"
I started reading a little on the net about this 22q11 but decided to cross that bridge if need be after reading "Microdeletions in chromosomal region 22q11.2 are associated with a 20 to 30-fold increased risk of schizophrenia".  Plus, assuming that a positive result would certainly nix our chance of being granted residence AND since Billy and I are certain we are going, the result will most certainly be negative.
Through the emotions of this day... okay, this year, God gave me the following prayer:

This veil of grief that blocks my sight

 Oh Father God, please help me fight

Your plan for me I know's divine

Not my will, Lord, but only Thine

You weep with me while my heart breaks

But You know, God, that which awaits

Dim not my faith, keep me yet strong

Through these days both hard and long

My feet I will on path to stay

Knowing that You lead the way

Desires of my heart, just one

To glorify both Father... Son